You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize