first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize