I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize