I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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