She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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