Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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