You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
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Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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