i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
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Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
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And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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