I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize