I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize