She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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