I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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