you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
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he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
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We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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