i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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