it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
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I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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