Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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