Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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