I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize