Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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