names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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