why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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