she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize