Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
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my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
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she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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