Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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