She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
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you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
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I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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