Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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