sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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