The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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