I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
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Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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