im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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