those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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