it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Never joke about your clitoris.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize