Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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