were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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