I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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