maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
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Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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