Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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