jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
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Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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