I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
now i know why i became what i already was.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
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For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
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I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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