I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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