why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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