They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
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My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
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I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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