I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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