Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize