i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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