Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize