Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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