the condom got lost in my hair
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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