HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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