You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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